Memorandum of a dog

A dog's life is not easy. Especially, when you have to put up with your humans too.

by olgahaart

Yawn today is another day. The cook is already awake. I heard her doing something in that place where nice smells come from. She is a great cook although she barely gives me any pudding. I think it’s because she takes care of my shape. She doesn’t want me to look like poor fat Rocky from next door.

The servant, well he is still here next to me in my bed. Lying in that weird position that only humans can lie in. His paws are under his neck and his back legs are bent in an indescribable shape. 

Oh I can hear her, here she comes, I hope she has something tasty for me.

Yukkk no, they are doing that strange things again when they are licking each other’s mouth. I had enough of this nonsense, I’d rather just go to the other place where they keep this talking box and catch the morning sunshine on the sofa (I think that's what they call that big thing in front of the talking box).

Wait, I know this sound. This is the rattling sound of my leash! We are going for walkies.

Let me introduce you my street. That big white fence over there is where Dina lives. She is a very angry bitch but once she likes you, she will always be there for you. She has a great cook as well. Sometimes her cook and my cook welcome each other in front of the fence with a lick on both cheeks. Similar to when her and the servant lick each other’s mouth. Humans are weird. I like Dina’s cook, she always has some nice and tasty bites for me whenever she sees me.  

On the left, close to that field, well, this is where Jasper lives. He has a crush on me for a long time and he is quite open about it. His cook is not so great. Jasper told me that quite often he shouts at him at a language that sounds gibberish. He usually calls Jasper a “Dirty pig” when he is angry with him.  I’m much luckier with my staff than Jasper. The cook loves spoiling me on the sofa with a great belly rub. And the servant loves driving me around in my car with the windows open so I can stick my head out and indulge myself in the smells of the county. Jasper on the other hand, is not even allowed into his house. His cook built a kennel for him in the garden next to his house. It doesn’t even have a sofa or a bed. Poor Jasper!

Can you see that big green field with the trees around it? This is where I normally exercise and sniff around. I chose this field because the forest is full of wonderful scents. My staff of course doesn't appreciate it; they have a nose like a baby kitten. I love running like a wild horse, roll in the grass and chew on wood sticks.

I feel pleasantly tired now. It was a good day out.  The cook is in the smelly place again. I think I will just stand next to her and wait if she drops something tasty by accident. They have some other humans coming to eat. I like these human gatherings because if I beg persistent enough, -put my paws on their legs and give them the puppy eyes-, they always give me some deliciousness from their human bowls. My servant loves to show off with my skills. He uses words like “Catch”.  This is my favourite because he throws a piece of food and I just grab it in the air. Then he praises me and calls me a “Good Girl”. I really don’t see the big deal in this. Wouldn’t you jump for some food?

They are getting a bit noisy now, drinking that red thing again that makes them happy and loud. I think I will just curl up in my bed under the duvet and enjoy that it’s only mine. I know that in no time, they will come and try to take it over unless they carry on with that red stuff.  In which case I can have my bed for the whole night!

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